I know what Captain America would say. “Language.” Sorry Cap, but some people just really are assholes. And here I present to you The asshole collection:
1) THE JUDGE
Now this person thinks that it is their duty to judge everyone. They think it is their life’s goal to make certain stereotypical assumptions about everyone. Basically The Mean Girls from The Mean Girls. (But from various gender, sex , race ,caste ,etc)
“He likes reading. He is boring.” “They can’t be this close. They are faking it.” “She hasn’t watched xyz film. She is such a loser.”
WARNING: If a person talks likes this, you should know that an asshole has been spotted. You are suggested to run from the crime scene. Don’t waste time. Save yourselves first.
2) THE BLAMER
“I shouted on a random person. It is not my fault, the maid offered me my tea today and only smiled once. I mean I was bound to get angry.”
“She was dressed in a hideous way.She was basically asking me to bully her in front of everybody.”
“I had to kill him. I mean hello? Too much population.”
These people tend to transfer their emotions and problems on to others. Since they are suffering, they want others to suffer too. If you spot a person like this, run, in fact fly. That way you will also get admission in Sky High. So win-win.
‘1 % sugar.1% Spice.And 98% Chemical X which will make them the most irritating humans on Earth.And now for Martians….’
This is the recipe that God used to make these kind of people. They are invaders of ones personal space. You know the saying ‘Mind your own business’. Yeah, they don’t get it.
In fact their life is basically revolving around what is happening in other people’s life. Not only they want to know what you eat, they also want to know how many times you chew. So as to say, they don’t have a life. Why god why? Did life got out of stock? Or are you waiting for life to go on sale? Or since Chemical X was not returnable you just used it anyway! Wait, is God Monisha Sarabhai?
4) THE REPEATER
They are those people who apologise for their mistakes but then repeat them anyway. Someone needs to inform them that ‘I am sorry’ is not ‘Over and Out’.You know, a phrase used to end a conversation. It actually means that I realise my mistake and won’t repeat it in the future.
Yeah maybe that is it. They don’t know what sorry means.
“I forgot your birthday again, I am sorry”
“I missed the deadline again, I am sorry”
“I am running late again just like all the other days of my life, I am sorry”
They must be confusing ‘I am sorry’ with ‘full stop.’ Almost Same spelling. Pretty honest mistake.
5) THE PUSHER
Now I am not talking about those people who push people for their own good. I am talking about those people who push people inside a shark’s mouth. They don’t even care if the shark is on a diet or whatever.
I have got news for these people, getting people into trouble is not funny. Playing on people’s fears is not funny.Watching Kenny’s stand up.Yes that is funny.Because he is a funny guy.
But on a serious note , do not let assholes bully you around. Kick them out of your life like Amitabh Bachchan kicks out Shah Rukh Khan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. But unlike the film, don’t let them come back.
Keh diya na bus keh diya. That:
Hope this helps!