Forever

Forever.

You lied about it.

It is okay.

The day is the same.

Almost.

 

It is not like the phone doesn’t buzz anymore,

It does;

I just forget it’s not you.

And the tiny fraction of happiness,

Becomes too heavy.

 

It is not like I don’t have other things to think about,

I do;

You are too stubborn to leave my mind,

My eyes stare in an empty space,

Too scared to hope.

 

It is not like people aren’t a distraction,

They are;

But the air doesn’t fix the numbness and

Breathing is difficult.

 

You weren’t a dream right?

No your letters make you real,

And the mid finished crossword.

You forgot to clean the shelf again.

And your sweater, Yes well it helps me cry.

It’s not like the first time they absorbed my tears.

 

These photographs keep reminding me of

The memories that do not need a reminder.

And the mention of your name,

It brings me right to the ground and shatters every bit of strength I poured into standing up.

 

A scream of pain,

Followed by a hollow chest,

Sleepless nights,

and You know what,

It’s okay.

 

Almost.

 

Just a part of me died that day with you,

And the remaining is stuck in the moment I saw you.

For the last time,

In a loop,

Forever.

 

time

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The Unsaid Truth

A feeling that none should feel.

IMG_0243.JPGEveryday I make a promise to myself,

Every night I break it.

Everyday I dress up and smile,

Every night I remove my mask.

Everyday I pretend to like things I dont,

Every night I enjoy just being on my own.

Everyday I make a choice,

Every night I regret it.

 One day I woke up and told myself,

To say no to the things I dont like and want.

To stand up for myself because others won’t.

To fully utilise my limited time and be free from fear.

To  have hope and remind myself that I have a purpose here.

To appreciate people that are around.

To follow my heart, my soul ,my sound.

Everyday I remind myself these things;

And

 Everynight..