The Key to Move Forward

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I saw the green dot appear next to his face. I remember there was a time when I use to eagerly wait for that to happen.
I remember when I used to get mad and wait for him to come online just so that I could ignore him. It wasn’t easy. Hesitant at first, I use to press send.

Today, I feel hesitant again. But I don’t know why. The game of ‘whose ego is bigger’ and ‘who is more clingy’ has already ended. There are no more expectations. There are no more vulnerabilities.
There is only silence. He is no longer waiting. A lot has happened in a year. I guess I can update him. I suppose I can get updated too.
I started typing.

‘Hey. How are you? Long time. What happened to goldy? Did you feed him on time or did he die? Did you finally get rid of your torn grey hoodie which you wore almost everyday? Did you learn how to swallow a pill? Did you give modern family a chance? Did you replace our photo from that ugly frame? Have you already filled my shelf with your stupid things? Did you…Did you care? Do you remember me? Does hearing my Name make you angry?Or does it make you smile and get nostalgic? Does it..’

Does it matter? It doesn’t . Nothing matters now. I have lost him. My fingers lifted from the keyboard. I actually don’t have anything to say it to him. Nothing I can put in words atleast.
One year ago, he was the love of my life with whom I had to face every obstacle. Today he is just a stranger. A parallel universe, I suppose.

Only one key beared the pressure of my emotions;

Backspace.

 

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You know me

I am
A red convertible
A PHD Degree
Waist 26
An autobiography

I am or I hope to be

I am
The corner office
A world trip
Salad for dinner
A baby’s crib

I am or I hope to be

I am
A finished book
A different path
A poet’s rhyme
A winner’s laugh

I am or I hope to be

I am a word,
you often use.
I am your,
permanent excuse.
I am a strategy,
you hope to try.
I am, In the end,
Your biggest lie.

I am or I hope to be
One day

Yours truly,
Someday

 

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5 types of ASSHOLES

I know what Captain America would say. “Language.” Sorry Cap, but some people just really are assholes. And here I present to you The asshole collection:

1) THE JUDGE

Now this person thinks that it is their duty to judge everyone. They think it is their life’s goal to make certain stereotypical assumptions about everyone. Basically The Mean Girls from The Mean Girls. (But from various gender, sex , race ,caste ,etc)

“He likes reading. He is boring.” “They can’t be this close. They are faking it.” “She hasn’t watched xyz film. She is such a loser.”

Image result for judgmental people

WARNING: If a person talks likes this, you should know that an asshole has been spotted. You are suggested to run from the crime scene. Don’t waste time. Save yourselves first.

2) THE BLAMER

“I shouted on a random person. It is not my fault, the maid offered me my tea today and only smiled once. I mean I was bound to get angry.”

“She was dressed in a hideous way.She was basically asking me to bully her in front of everybody.”

“I had to kill him. I mean hello? Too much population.”

the blamer

These people tend to transfer their emotions and problems on to others. Since they are suffering, they want others to suffer too. If you spot a person like this, run, in fact fly. That way you will also get admission in Sky High. So win-win.

3)THE INVADER

‘1 % sugar.1% Spice.And 98% Chemical X which will make them the most irritating humans on Earth.And now for Martians….’

This is the recipe that God used to make these kind of people. They are invaders of ones personal space. You know the saying ‘Mind your own business’. Yeah, they don’t get it.

the invaders

In fact their life is basically revolving around what is happening in other people’s life. Not only they want to know what you eat, they also want to know how many times you chew. So as to say, they don’t have a life. Why god why? Did life got out of stock? Or are you waiting for life to go on sale? Or since Chemical X was not returnable you just used it anyway! Wait, is God Monisha Sarabhai?

4) THE REPEATER

They are those people who apologise for their mistakes but then repeat them anyway. Someone needs to inform them that ‘I am sorry’ is not ‘Over and Out’.You know, a phrase used to end a conversation. It actually means that I realise my mistake and won’t repeat it in the future.

the repeater

Yeah maybe that is it. They don’t know what sorry means.

“I forgot your birthday again, I am sorry”

“I missed the deadline again, I am sorry”

“I am running late again just like all the other days of my life, I am sorry”

They must be confusing ‘I am sorry’ with ‘full stop.’ Almost Same spelling. Pretty honest mistake.

 

5) THE PUSHER

Now I am not talking about those people who push people for their own good. I am talking about those people who push people inside a shark’s mouth. They don’t even care if the shark is on a diet or whatever.

the pusher

I have got news for these people, getting people into trouble is not funny. Playing on people’s fears is not funny.Watching Kenny’s stand up.Yes that is funny.Because he is a funny guy.

 

But on a serious note , do not let assholes bully you around. Kick them out of your life like Amitabh Bachchan kicks out Shah Rukh Khan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. But unlike the film, don’t let them come back.

Keh diya na bus keh diya. That:

olaf

Hope this helps!

 

5 animated characters that taught us life hacks.

I like people who like animated movies. Most animated movies have innovative story line and really memorable characters. Here are five amazing animated characters that taught us certain valuable lessons about life:

 

1)Olaf

olaf

Olaf taught us so many things. Ironic how snow can be so warm. Olaf is the perfect example of how a friend should be. Telling Anna to run when he thinks Kristoff is crazy, giving honest love advice and trying to stop the ice troll ten times his size.

While there are speculations that Olaf is always high on ice pot, I just like to believe that he is a very positive snow man.

2)Tinkerbell

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In the first movie Tinkerbell isn’t thrilled to be the fairy of pots- and-pans (Talent of making and fixing things). But when she embraces her talent, she is able to save Spring. And who doesn’t love spring?

Also she taught us that if life gives you leaves, turn them into fabulous dresses.

3)Sid

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Even though he gets left behind by his family, he makes his own herd. Quoting from The Spy Next Door,”Family isn’t whose blood you carry, it is who you love and who loves you.”

“He is the gooey, sticky… stuff that holds us together” said Diego in Ice Age:The Meltdown. I remember Ross said the same thing to Monica in Friends, in a less gross way.

 

4)Crush

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Crush,  the tortoise from Finding Nemo. He taught us the importance of letting your kids go. Only when kids face a challenge on their own, will they be able to learn from it.

Crush is Parenting goals. (Here is a sentence I never thought I would use.)

5)Gothel

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This Guy from Snuggly Duckling in the movie Tangled taught us that looks can be deceiving. And that having a hobby or dream can really put people’s time into better use!

So if there is more employment, people’s empty mind won’t become a devil’s snare.

Deep right? And you thought Tangled is all about selling shampoos.

 

5 Errors that should be avoided on First Dates

You know how people say that first impression is the last impression. Well that isn’t true. Although they are really important. I mean your first date could be a ‘how I met your mother/father’ story or something that will make you avoid that person for the rest of your life. In other miracles, it could also be just a normal date. But in order to avoid the worst case scenario, here are 5 useful tips for your first tips.
1) CLOTHES
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Is being naked an option? Sadly, no. Hence you will have to choose an outfit. Wear something comfortable and not too dressy. Whatever you decide, decide it one night before. Let’s face it, that is the toughest decision one has to make and the decision consumes one whole life.

2) THE PLACE

the place.jpg
Choose a place which is in your territory. Avoid any restaurant which you are not familiar with. Because then you will lose home advantage. You may not know what food is on the menu, is the place pleasant or shady, do you eat from your mouth, etc
Also if you sweat like a pig, choose an air conditioned restaurant/cafe.
3) THE FOOD

eating
My advice would be to eat something in advance so that you do not eat like a gorilla in front of your date with your stomach growling and shaking the whole place. Avoid ordering food that is dipped in sauce like pasta because it has the risk of falling on your clothes. If you order pizza, limit the oregano and flakes as they get stuck in your front teeth.(Damn it, oregano ,why you do this!)
Side tip: Always carry chewing gums.
4) THE TALK
First dates can be really awkward as you do not know what to talk about. In most of the cases, first date is also the first time you are meeting the person. Avoid detailed discussions about exes on your first date. Talk and listen as much as you can to break the ice. Or else the silence won’t go away.

the talk
Yes you should be yourself but try to dial down the crazy. Talk more about your interest and hobbies. Talk less about your love for random things like sugar cubes. If the date goes well, you have ample of time to show him/her your crazy side. (slowly-slowly)
5) HOME STRETCH
How you pay is totally up to you. Since it is the first date, I think it is best that you pay for yourself. If you do have a future with your date, you can decide your turns of payment accordingly.

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If you think that the awkward part is over, your are highly mistaken. When it is time to say goodbye, things get weird. You do not know whether to shake hands, hug, kiss or tap each other on the back like football players. I would say, it totally depends on your comfort level and on how the date went. Since you do not want invade the other person’s personal space, it is always better to speak than to touch. ‘This was fun. I had a good time. I don’t think you even noticed that I farted.See you soon. Goodbye!’

Hope that helped!

 

Errors and Hacks

Ever felt like your life could be categorized under two things?
Errors:The loopholes of life you cannot understand.
Hacks:Some living formulas or mantras that you have which makes it possible for you to live your life.ERROS AND HACKS

Errors of life are when google maps show no traffic but traffic finds you anyway.
It is when you promise to stay on a diet but ERROR 101 your taste buds are unhappy with only salad.Even your tummy protests.
It is when you forget simple things for the 50th time.

Hacks are when you have more knowledge than g maps and you reach office or college before the given time.
It is when you find those yummy-healthy dish combo that makes both the taste buds and the mirror happy-happy.
It is when you score the highest by studying the least.

On my blog I will be sharing certain errors and hacks that I have observed through my 18 years of life.
Maybe you agree with them!Maybe you have your own!
Let us find out!