I saw the green dot appear next to his face. I remember there was a time when I use to eagerly wait for that to happen.
I remember when I used to get mad and wait for him to come online just so that I could ignore him. It wasn’t easy. Hesitant at first, I use to press send.
Today, I feel hesitant again. But I don’t know why. The game of ‘whose ego is bigger’ and ‘who is more clingy’ has already ended. There are no more expectations. There are no more vulnerabilities.
There is only silence. He is no longer waiting. A lot has happened in a year. I guess I can update him. I suppose I can get updated too.
I started typing.
‘Hey. How are you? Long time. What happened to goldy? Did you feed him on time or did he die? Did you finally get rid of your torn grey hoodie which you wore almost everyday? Did you learn how to swallow a pill? Did you give modern family a chance? Did you replace our photo from that ugly frame? Have you already filled my shelf with your stupid things? Did you…Did you care? Do you remember me? Does hearing my Name make you angry?Or does it make you smile and get nostalgic? Does it..’
Does it matter? It doesn’t . Nothing matters now. I have lost him. My fingers lifted from the keyboard. I actually don’t have anything to say it to him. Nothing I can put in words atleast.
One year ago, he was the love of my life with whom I had to face every obstacle. Today he is just a stranger. A parallel universe, I suppose.
Only one key beared the pressure of my emotions;
A feeling that none should feel.
Everyday I make a promise to myself,
Every night I break it.
Everyday I dress up and smile,
Every night I remove my mask.
Everyday I pretend to like things I dont,
Every night I enjoy just being on my own.
Everyday I make a choice,
Every night I regret it.
One day I woke up and told myself,
To say no to the things I dont like and want.
To stand up for myself because others won’t.
To fully utilise my limited time and be free from fear.
To have hope and remind myself that I have a purpose here.
To appreciate people that are around.
To follow my heart, my soul ,my sound.
Everyday I remind myself these things;
Ever felt like your life could be categorized under two things?
Errors:The loopholes of life you cannot understand.
Hacks:Some living formulas or mantras that you have which makes it possible for you to live your life.
Errors of life are when google maps show no traffic but traffic finds you anyway.
It is when you promise to stay on a diet but ERROR 101 your taste buds are unhappy with only salad.Even your tummy protests.
It is when you forget simple things for the 50th time.
Hacks are when you have more knowledge than g maps and you reach office or college before the given time.
It is when you find those yummy-healthy dish combo that makes both the taste buds and the mirror happy-happy.
It is when you score the highest by studying the least.
On my blog I will be sharing certain errors and hacks that I have observed through my 18 years of life.
Maybe you agree with them!Maybe you have your own!
Let us find out!