The best thing to happen to Delhi is metro. And the worst things to happen to Delhi are the following 5 types of annoying people.
Note: I tried to not be sarcastic. Emphasis on the word tried.
- Save Money, Say No to Earphones
Everybody listens to music in metro even though the metro aunty/uncle keeps saying it isn’t allowed. We are rebellious like that. But that is to pass are own time. Then there are these people who listen to music on loud speakers. I mean they will buy the most expensive phone but will save their money by not buying earphones. Genius. At first I had thought that they are providing a free public service. But these people never play the songs you ask for. I call them, the gang of the Dj Wale Babu.
- We are a Metro Family
First of all, I blame Hum Saath Saath Hai. Second of all, you know it’s great that a family of 88 is travelling together but you got be togetha to be together. You can’t just spread all across the metro and then scream on the top of your lungs to find each other. Why do you think Simran ran all the way till SRK when she could have boarded any train coach? Imagine how Babuji would have felt if Simran would have called him from Europe and be like, “Damn dad, I did climb on the train but couldn’t find the loser. Anyway I am pursuing my dreams and making millions. Peace out.” He would have been crushed.
So moral of the story, either be responsible towards your offspring and other blood relatives. Or,
Use condoms.
- Personal Space is a Myth
I had almost started to believe in personal space even though my friends use to make fun of me for believing in the nonexistent. And I stand corrected. Personal space in metro is a myth. Somebody will shove their purse in your stomach, body odor in your nostrils and step on your foot till it becomes flat like the floor. I love how adjusting our nation is but sometimes people need to use their brains. You know, once in awhile. Look at your ass. Now, look at the space left on the seating bench. Do you honestly think it will fit?
Do the math people, do the math.
4.The Starers
They are worse than the Dj Wale Babu gang because they don’t even use phone in metros. Instead, they stare at everybody like they have never seen human beings in their entire lives. Oh although if they are aliens then that would explain everything. But the point is that one cannot eat, sleep or dream in the metro if the starers continue to stare. So if they are Ambani they should focus on Reliance. Get it?
Mind their own business.
- Because the Therapist said so
Sometimes people do need a nudge in their lives. Hell, even a push sometimes. But that is not applicable on the tracks of a metro. Because kids, that will be murder.
The life goal of pushers was to get into American Football. Since that didn’t happen, their therapist recommended them to channelize their aggression. I doubt if their therapist was like, “Hey, you can always push people while getting in and out of the metro. Hell, even inside the metro. Suffocation and being injured brings leisure and peace in the whole wide world. It eradicates poverty and saves cotton.”
Highly doubt it.
Happy travelling!
Errors and Hacks 